Nah, it will probably all be good in the hood. I doubt too much is gonna happen. More than likely a few crazy people will do some wild stuff, somebody is maxing out their line of credit as I type this. Some people hunker down in preparation, others are sitting on a beach somewhere drinking themselves into a stupor, while puffing on a Cuban stogie. Some naughty people are playing with too much nose candy and some guy just put money down on a exotic sports car he can't fully pay off but he's driving off in it anyway because what the hey, where are the repo men gonna be after civilization has vanished into the sands of time, right? As for the rest of us life will likely go on as normal but now here's something to have a chuckle at while the world holds it's breath.
Now about the "Slothpocalypse" - yes I just coined that term. I got the idea last night when I sat down to the computer and saw an image from the Memebase generator:
Needless to say, I almost fell out of my chair laughing. I don't know why. Out of all the possibilities, one could conjure up tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, lightening storms, drastic weather change, floods of biblical proportions, firestorms, pestilence, famine, plague, disease, pandemics, pole shift, asteroids, black holes, planetary collisions, alien invasion, red giant exploding stars, super volcanoes, earthquakes, nuclear war, and a partridge & a pear tree, etc...
Yet out of all the possibilities people fathom, SLOTHS? SLOTHS! Now that's pretty freaking darn funny. So this brought idea of a comical and parody nature. What the heck, the end of the world is something we have been hearing of for sometime now. We might as well celebrate with some fun and have a laugh before this Mayan prediction passes.
I can just see myself now, standing waist deep in a pile of brass with the last remaining survivors in the area, fighting for the future of humanity. We are on a roof top guns a blazing, hot lead flyin', burning automobiles are laying on their side, tipped over in the sloth melee. Wreckage and debris is strewn about the city streets, plumes of smoke rise from nearby buildings. The place is a war zone, like some scene out of a zombie apocalypse flick. Except instead of zombies, the burg is swarming with sloths, hundreds of thousands of sloths! Humans are grossly outnumbered approximately 10,000 to 1. The sloths came in space ships (Proving they really were an alien species all along) took the world's nations by surprise disguised as slow moving furry rocks for camouflage. They felled entire militaries before they could mobilize their troops. The most destructive weapons were deployed but to no avail. In the end, the sloth onslaught managed to survive repeated artillery barrages, tank charges, air strikes. The world's nations expended their entire nuclear arsenals, this brought down many sloths but there were many more to fill their ranks. Soon all that was left was the sloth, cockroaches and the remaining bastions of humanity. By now it's every survivor for himself, it's up to the common person to turn the tide of battle around. The survivors have one thing to their advantage, the sloths make easy targets moving slow but one problem, there's more sloths than bullets. For every sloth that keels over, 100 more to take it's place. By now the survivors are surrounded by mountains of piled up sloth, a scene reminiscent of the movie "300." Copious amounts of sloth clumsily lumber over their fallen comrades and continue an ever tightening encirclement of the last standing survivors.
Yeah, that's actually sort of a dramatic interpretation in my mind of the Slothpocalypse Just had to get creative here, it got the wheels turning in my brain for some crazy satire of disaster and zombie movies. I don't harbor any hard feelings for sloths, I'm an animal lover person and think sloths are actually intriguing and they sort of remind me of certain dogs my relatives have. Yet they seem to make a good candidate for such a plot. Think of the old cheesy horror movies, one that comes to mind is 1972's "Night of the Lepus" - a movie about gargantuan, destructive, carnivorous, killer bunny rabbits run amok in Arizona. Then there's the more successful "Planet of The Apes" movies, I suppose "Planet of The Sloths" will be the sequel to the before mentioned plot once they've forced humans into hiding in secret caves and sloths rise as the rulers of the world.
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| THE "SLOTHPOCALYPSE" DECEMBER, 21st 2012! Are you ready? The Mayans most feared prediction, coming to a city near you. (I did get slightly carried away with photoshop on this one) |
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