We Made It!

Wooohoooo! Give yourselves a big pat upon the back, so we passed the Mayan apocalypse date with no problem. The world goes on! Of course I knew we'd make it, it's just not every day the end of the world is suppose to come and give me an opportunity to poke some fun at it. Now we all need to start making T-shirts that say "I survived the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."

Well, on the bright side I'm looking forward to a cancellation of all the doomsday 2012 shows on TV. Surely they'll find another doomsday to predict but they may have to do some doomsday searching for a few years before they set another date. I'm just glad this one is over because I can remember all the hype back in 2007 even. Whew, finally, 'cause this one has been along time in coming. Of course I mentioned this TV thing before but I'll mention it again because I'm happy that we are on the other side of that date. Also there went the Winter Solstice! No more shortening days, they'll finally get longer again. If you don't already know, you could probably guess that winter is my least favorite time of the year. I'm totally a Spring & Summer person all the way. I don't like the short days, cold, and dead bland grey, leaflessness and lifelessness of the outside much.

Now we can look forward to the holidays and new year and hope 2013 is hella f-ing balls to the wall awesome! :)

Somewhere I can just imagine some pretty disappointed peeps. I can almost hear the groans of their disappointment, the collection calls coming, angry spouses calling, the answering machines with their automated messages all in unison coming from hamlets across all corners of the globe. Yesterday they were saying to themselves:

- Quit my job and told my boss to go  O_o  #^@*!himself, check.
- Withdrew all my money from the stock market, check.
- Sent a nasty letter to my ex and all my old enemies, check.
- Maxed out my credit cards on a spending free for all, check.
- Graffiti on the sidewalk in front of the homeowners association, check.
- Went car surfing attempting to whack all the mailboxes in town with a baseball bat from car, check.
- Got arrested for lewd, shrewd and drunken behavior in public, check.
- Booked a flight to the Bahamas, check.
- Reserved a lavish suite with a jacuzzi and balcony overlook on the beach, check.
- Throw the television out the window and into swimming pool, check.
- Purchased several pounds of illegal substances from some guy named Pablo, check.
- Spent every last penny on booze, check.
- Threw a giant shindig and partied like it's 1999 again, check.
- Have no back up plan, totally up the creek without a paddle should this all go south, check.

If anybody knows somebody like this, please help these poor souls get back on their feet and forgive them as this is the charitable giving time of the year.

One can only assume that the Earth was in the sights of the Sloth Menace and a planet killing asteroid at the same time. The world's intelligence agencies learned of the sloth global domination plot well in advance. In fact the plot was learned about in the 1970's when a CIA operative went under cover disguised as one, he spent half a decade in the jungles of South America learning the sloth language and hanging out in trees, once the plot was discovered this provided ample time to prepare as sloths move slow, just a little slower than the CIA. Working with the world's space agencies they then enlisted the smartest scientists to come up with a solution. Kill two birds with one stone or rather us a very large stone and broadside a bunch of monkey like creature things with hook claws that dwell in trees. The plan called for flying rockets into the asteroid, nudging it's trajectory away from the earth and smashing it into the sloth mother ship thus thwarting the invasion and saving humanity and the planet. Of course they could not tell the general public, this keeps panic from breaking out and they keep the identity of their crack counter-space sloth team units secret. They only come together to save the world, then like everything else they return to bureaucratic in fighting. - This is just an elaborate sci-fi theory on why the "Slothpocalypse" was botched. The sloth mother ship has been some 4 billion light years in creeping here, or since the time Earth was allegedly formed if you count by the geological theory. By the time the sloths figure out on their home planet that the invasion failed, they might order a second wave but again they will be a long time in transit. By the time they reach Earth, they risk being consumed by the exploding sun turning into a red giant.

Thank goodness it's good to see today as it's officially the 22nd of December 2012!